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Hi friend,
I had a huge lesson I learnt last week.
It cost me A LOT of
- time
- passive income
- mental overwhelm
And I don't want you to go through this, so I'm penning this down.
You know how I always tell you to work for free first? Especially when you don't have a portfolio, because you need testimonials.
It's what works well.
For example, it's easier to have someone book your consultation for $50 if they see 5-10 testimonials talking about how amazing you are. If it's a blank page... they might not want to put in their $$.
Social proof is everything.
I conducted the first cohort of my flagship [now discontinued course], Summit 21 for free as well.
$0
Similarly, I had a young freelancer who wanted to work for free with me in exchange for a testimonial.
Sounded like a win-win, except that it was the worst working experience I had in my solopreneurship career.
What started with enthusiasm because their ideas were SO good, led to
- sending me supremely low-quality work
- not doing basic background research
- not even seeing my own work and style!
I wanted to stop working.
But I thought to myself,
This is your time to help, to make a difference. To do what you do with your students - give them feedback on improving their writing and mindset. Provide them with direction. Be the person you didn't have.
So I gave feedback.
Big backfire... coming soon.
I got a really long email in return about how I have hurt their mental health with my feedback, and they expected better.
I felt so... guilty.
Did I become the boss I wanted to run away from?
Did I become the leader I say one shouldn't be?
Did I become... toxic? Instead of charismatic?
I replied with a long email apologising to them.
What followed was round 2 of work.
Along with round 2 of work, there was a request to suggest a client who will pay them $2500.
I politely told them,
"You'll get there, but you aren't there yet. I don't see a $2500 skill, and I know you're a part of many communities.
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I encourage you to write more and sharpen your skills so people want to pay that price.
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Learning and communities are one thing, but one can only get paid well when they write well.
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And the only way to write well is by practice."
With the next lot of drafts came
- Improved, but still poor writing
- It took me 3 hours and 40 minutes to edit a few emails
- The quality of work was so... low. It was crushing to just read such stuff.
This time, I wrote them an email that I don't want to work with them anymore because it's been months of working together, and it's not up to my expectations.
I typed a draft... and deleted it.
Again, I thought -
Be patient, give the other person a chance. They will feel bad to have worked so hard and get fired, so just stick through.
What followed was... them firing me.
Which was a HUGE blessing as I felt like God heard me.
But the content in that email was on the lines of
- "You're hurting my mental health"
- "You remind me of my ex-boss"
I borderline felt guilty, AGAIN.
Until I took it to my community members.
6-7 people with 10-30 years of work experience, who've dealt with lots people and conflict management.
The responses I got were around:
"I used to be defensive about feedback too, until years later I realised that nobody can save me but myself. And for that, I need to stop being defensive."
Another one that clicked was,
"It's common for people to think of feedback as an attack on themselves instead of an improvement area in their work. You can coach that person out of it if they're close to you and you need to maintain a relationship, but otherwise, let it go. They'll eventually learn that their work β them"
And so I let it go.
I also thought of the fact that this is the only free and only unhappy employee I've ever had, so that's not a bad success rate considering I've been a full-time creator for 4 years now.
I write this because, as a freelancer, I encourage you to:
- Not write long emails about your feelings and instead, get on a call. Clear communications and boundaries are essential.
- Think if you associate your self-worth with your work.
- Think if you associate feedback on your work as an attack on your existence and being
- Develop thick skin towards feedback for a selfish reason - it only helps you
Back in the days I wrote on Medium, I got rejected repeatedly even though these were articles I worked so hard for outside of my 9-11h workdays.
It was a labour of love - quite literally.
But months and over a year of such rejections helped me
- be a top voice on many topics on the platform
- get high-paying freelance clients
- get purely inbound leads because of my work π°
Imagine if I got butt hurt because an editor told me my work isn't the standard of their publication?
I used to read that kind of rejection 3-4 times a week!
And it helped me, because I worked on the feedback I got and kept trying day after day, month after month.
And if you're a creator...
- Choose to pay unless you see someone really worth mentoring. I've never got free work done, and even here, I chose the wrong person to get for free (which I'll tell you soon how it was expensive). Personally, I wouldn't want such an arrangement ever again!
- Get on a call - communication is key
- FIRE EARLY. Both sides would've benefitted if I let them go the first time I wanted to.
Finally...
After working on and off since August because I was having health fluctuations, this relationship ended 2 weeks ago, and I took the matter into my own hands.
It took me 3 days, with 1.5 hours a day of work, to do what I wanted them to.
That's 5.5 hours.
I spent double the amount emailing them, giving feedback, editing, and writing with them. And all this for only 30% of the work.
+ the mental overwhelm of dealing with someone so fragile, where you want the work to improve, but can't give any feedback on any sentence.
If I let them go earlier, I would've
- finished this work faster
- my passive income stream would've been on
- the mental overwhelm of seeing poor writing wouldn't be there
- the constant guilt that anything I'm saying is 'hurting feelings' was weighing me down
Tell me - were these 3 months really worth $0?
I feel it actually cost me, and wasn't free at all.
I hope this helps you because I wouldn't want any of you to be stuck for so long in the creator economy, which rewards bias to action.
See you next week!
Love,
N