β
When you have a full-time job, you operate under a glass ceiling.
For instance, I knew that I could only expect a 10% raise next year. Which is why my 'big' goal was to make $1133 a month by the time I'm 30, and even this goal felt too far-fetched and unreal.
Basically, there's a cap on how much you can dream.
And I don't come from a family where we have entrepreneurs, so nobody encouraged me to dream differently either.
In the creator economy, there is no glass ceiling.
βYour income right now is a result of your standards, it is not the industry, it is not the economy.β- Tony Robbins
Which is empowering as hell, but also screws your mind if I may say that.
During my freelance journey, I didn't settle for low-paying clients except for the one article I wrote for $50. I charged $129 for 2 hours of work, at least.
It made me feel empowered.
Soon, hundreds became thousands.
And I started making 3x my corporate income ($1800/m) just months into freelancing.
βWhen your desires are strong enough, you will appear to possess superhuman powers to achieve.β - Napoleon Hill
From there, the ceiling kept getting higher.
And while I quit Instagram, my dopamine still came from one thing -> money. I couldn't care less about likes and followers, never have and never will.
The spring of 2024 was the first time I hit 5 figures in a month. It was around $11,000 or so.
I felt over the moon!
That's when I thought,
If I make over $10,000 - that's enough to be happy with my income.
And after having multiple of those months, I'm...
.
.
.
not happy (?)
I'm grateful, incredibly grateful.
I'm grateful to have come this far and to be able to earn well enough. Not stressing about paying for stuff makes one's head feel rather light.
It has massively improved my confidence and the quality of my life.
But the feelings I'm experiencing are:
- "XYZ person is earning $30K a month."
- "My big goal is $50K, and I'm only 20% close to it."
- "Why couldn't it be more?"
It's after really really long that I've fallen into the comparison trap (with others and myself), knowing that
"Comparison is the thief of joy." - Theodore Roosevelt
All of this, when I'm also simultaneously feeling that money buys comfort but not happiness.
Yes, I'm aware it takes one to arrive at a certain level of privilege to say that. What I mean is, I'm the happiest, like wholeheartedly happy from deep inside my soul when:
- Jai (my husband) and I were hanging out an hour ago
- Jai and I are about to have tea in 15 minutes over which we chat and joke around, so I'm quickly writing this
- I'm meeting my mom on Sunday
- Facetiming my nani last night
- I have a FaceTime date with Molly, my best friend, who's in Toronto
- I can wake up and get in bed for another 30 min... just because
- I was lying on the sofa all afternoon doing nothing
And the list goes on!
But it's mostly when I get to be with those I love and doing things I like - I feel enough, I feel full.
It makes me realise that this is what makes life worth living.
βThere is no greater source of joy and meaning in our lives than our relationships with others.β - Esther Perel
And while money solves basic issues, it can't buy me this.
On the other hand, the stuff I actually desire to buy (because I'm not one of those non-materialistic people) - is way more pricey than what I can afford right now! π
I write this to you because, from the beginning, keeping things real has been an integral part of my content.
When I say be a solopreneur, it is for those who are misfits in their 9-to-5. I don't advocate the entire world quitting their job (though I do feel everyone needs to have a second income source, and the internet is a great place for one).
When I talk about what's amazing about my life, I also mention that I have no recurrent source of income.
However, I am privileged that I don't have any debts or EMIs to worry about (my car EMI finished in Dec'25, and I never want to have an EMI again π₯΅).
And I feel that if someone as aware as me can have this challenge and negative mental spiral... anyone can.
So I write this for you to be mindful of it.
This feeling has been fleeting in my head for months... and here's what I plan to do about it:
- Give myself a fixed salary.
- See my salary account more than my current account.
- Follow a quote I wrote years ago in my freelancing days,
"Enough is a state of mind."
Gratitude isn't an issue with me, so I won't be mentioning that. Honestly, I'm grateful every day just to be alive.
Hopefully, this will help me feel calmer.
And when you're in this rut (it doesn't have to be with $10K months, but even with $1K months - what feels like a dream right now can feel indifferent later), I hope you can come back to this newsletter.
To know you're not alone.
To know this is normal.
To realise this can happen across stages.
And moreover, there's a solution, so you don't have to be stuck in this spiral.
βYou can think your way into or out of almost any circumstance, good or bad.β - Napoleon Hill
Love,
N